falling out of love
by another fun
Summary: what happen 2 year after the Affair DL
1. Chapter 1

2 years later

disclaimer: i own nothing (sadly)...

my first time writing, so constructive criticisms are welcomed..

2 years later..

Danny PoV:

It's been 2 years since the last time he saw her, 2 years since he saw her big brown eyes turns into a big pool of tears, saw her sobbing her heart out, breaking his heart with every tears. It was his fault, all of it, he knew even when he slept with Rikki that he'll pay this mistake,the hard way he knew it, but he still done it, stupid stupid Danny!

It was a week after she said it, she said to him she loved him, he was in a confused state, he feels a little bit angry at himself for letting Lindsay down, soo confused for her sudden blow up and confession, to tell her the truth, He's not ready for all of this, it's all to sudden, and he's still grieving for Reuben and he don't even know what is it called but he feels something for Rikki too…it's been a hell of a week, working with Lindsay without actually talking to her, and having Rikki in his apartment for most of his night off.

He was wrecked with guilt, but not doing anything to solve it, it was all his mistake…

Lindsay dig her purse, try to find her apartment key, so she can go inside as quiet as possible. After a minute digging without finding what she wants, she hear the door clicked open revealing her mom smiled at how sweet her daughter looked, struggling to jumble the groceries and her own handbag.

"here let me help you out honey, you must be really exhausted" she take one of her groceries bag, and let Lindsay go inside before locking the door behind her.

Lindsay drop all the Groceries on the kitchen table and start to put them in the refrigerator, "How come you still up Mom? It's almost 2 in the morning, I told you that I'll have to take a night shift today, right? I have to finish some stuff before I move" her Mom just smiled at her and say "I'll off to bed now, remember you have a plane to catch tomorrow and Lindsay honey, are you sure you really want to go back?" Lindsay get up to the counter and hug her mom, then she said "it's allright mom, thanks for being here with me this whole time, but I get my self together now, I'll move on"

2 years ago:

_Lindsay was standing in the hall of Danny's apartment, just about to knock on his door, well he probably wont be there anyway, he said that he has some errands to be done. A big part of her heart just want to believe everything that he said, he has lots of things to be done, it's nothing serious… _

_But then she heard that voice, that voice that breaking her fragile and wounded heart into pieces… it's a woman voice, just behind that door, and she knew that it's not just talking…_

_"Danny…please.. I need to work, I've been late everyday this week, my boss gonna fire me if you're not letting me get ready for work"_

_"Please Rikki, just for another 10 minutes, then I'll drive you to your work… how 'bout that?"_

_Lindsay feet her knees started to gave up, when suddenly the door slam opened, revealed a half naked Danny and Rikki who dressed in one of Danny's Shirt, it's been more than enough for Lindsay, she couldn't even felt her feet when she ran toward the elevator. She can only catch Danny screamed her name before the elevator door closed "LINDSAY! Wait! …. Shit!!"_

_Lindsay still struggling with her breathing just outside his apartment building, but then she decided to call Stella, told her she's not feeling well, ate something bad at lunch, ended the call, threw the pregnancy test to the nearest bin and went to the subway station to went home._


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for all the reviews!! you guys really made my day... **

**disclaimer: i do own isabel!! but not the rest.. as you already know.. they belong to CBS  
just to clearing things up, the one in italic is the past, happen right after 4x16**

--

Isabel was asleep during the long Flight from Montana to New York, Lindsay was so worried that she's gonna wake up and she has to spend the rest of the flight dealing with the crying baby in her hand and the angry passengers around her, but it turns out to be ok.

Mac supposed to send someone to pick her up from the airport, he's been there for Lindsay the whole time, and she really appreciates it.

Mac knows about the whole pregnancy thing, but he agreed to keep it a secret from the rest of the team, because Lindsay knows if she lets her friends know about this, sooner or later Danny will know, well, off course sooner or later he'll know, but she choose that later is better. She can't stand him just yet.

_Danny went to the Lab in the afternoon, he bumped into Stella who said that Lindsay just called her to took the rest of the afternoon off. He run his hands trough his hair and just standing there like an idiot._

_Stella felt there's something wrong " what happened Danny?, you don't have to be so worry about Lindsay, she's a big girl, she can take care of herself, all right?"_

_Danny couldn't tell Stella the truth about what just happened, he couldn't stand it anymore if he has to see Stella's eyes also turns into a disapproval eyes or yet worse, disappointment, like he has failed everyone that he cared about, Reuben, Rikki, Stella,… Lindsay… his Montana…_

_It's the next morning, he already planned everything, he knows she gonna arrived early, she always there early. He needed to talk to her, he just realizes that he can't possibly live without his Montana._

_When he gets into their shared office, it was dark and empty, it's really empty, her desk was clean no papers, no her personal belongings, nothing… empty, like she was never been there._

_He can felt his heart skipped a beat, no… no… this can't be happening._

_He can feel his feet ran towards Mac's office, he can remember begging for his explanation, but the only answer he had from Mac was "I don't know Danny, she just gave me the resignation letter yesterday night, she said she has new job offering in LA.". but inside Danny can feels there're something more that Mac didn't tell him, the way Mac's blue eyes coldly piercing into his, he knows that Mac knows everything._

Lindsay standing outside the arrival gate, looking for Mac or someone else with her name, Isabel squirming in her arms, the baby is sleeping again now, she quite irritated during the landing, and screams rather loudly, makes Lindsay feels more and more nervous.

She looks like her Daddy, with her big blue eyes, and soft curly blond hair, so stubborn but also cute in the weird way, no... she try to shake off this feelings, "I'm moving on, I bring us all the way back to this city not because of him" she thought to herself, kiss her baby in the forehead, and walk trough the arrival gate to find that familiar face waiting with a big balloon that says "welcome back"…

**i know this is kinda short, but it's midterm now... so this is the best i can do under this circumstances  
i also apologize for some spelling or grammar mistakes, since English isn't my first language.  
review pleaseee!! i'll do my best to update as soon as i can!!  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**disclaimer: i own nothing, and now... in the middle of exams, life is sweet!!**

Stella is standing there, with a big smile on her face and big balloon in her hand.

Lindsay can't help it she starts to cry, she is so happy to see her again.

Lindsay pushes her Trolley with one hand and carries Isabel with the other hands.

When Lindsay finally reaches her, Stella just immediately grab her for a big hug, taking Isabel in the middle of the two women.

Lindsay is already crying, sobbing… "I'm so... soo..sorry… I can't tell you about her, I... I just don't want him to know"

Stella finally releases her, "its okay honey! Mac told me everything! I'm so sorry I can't be there for you. This must be so hard on you..."

Lindsay just nodded quietly, obviously don't want to talk about Danny, then Stella saw the little angel that curled asleep in Lindsay's arms

"oooh… Lindsay… she's so precious" she said, stroking her soft blonde curl

"I know…" she said with a sigh, her little baby is the only thing that preventing her from falling. She is her whole world now.

"And look at you now! You look fantastic! I can't believe the pregnancy and baby sitting for 24 hours non-stop can do this to you" she exclaimed.

Lindsay just blushing at her comment, well, she sure not in her best shape right now, but the she now having her old glow back, she is as pretty as ever with her brown curl and big brown eyes, she can get any man that she want.

Stella then saw the exhaustion in her eyes and said

"You know what, let's get you guys home, it must be tiring, traveling with this little angel" she said take Lindsay's trolley and lead the way.

"You have no idea how tiring she can be…thank you so much stell, I really appreciate this" she said as they walk to the parking lot

"I'm so glad you agree to working back with us, it's just never been the same without you there." Stella smiled at her.

"I know… I'm missing it too… that why I agree to get back here" She held her breath for a second and said "it's gonna be awkward with Danny tough, I left him there without telling him about Isabel, I wonder how he'll react when he finds out about this"

"Oh, don't worry about him Linds, he was a jerk, but he's Danny… he'll understand, do you planning on telling him about Isabel immediately?" Stella tried to reassures her.

"NO...NO... no… I mean, I'm not ready for this yet… we have a great life, just both of us, and actually I know that Isabel also needs her dad, but I just not ready… not yet Stell"

She takes a deep breath "He hurts me bad Stell…and it's still hurts"

--

Danny was standing in front of her office, yup right, she's back in town, Mac just told him this morning.

He can't believe this, after all of this time he finally can literally see her again! What he feel now is just complicated. He still wrecked with guilt up until now.

He already lost count on how many times he tried to call her to her parents house in Montana, the answer was always the same, she wasn't there and they didn't want to tell him her phone number.

He even flew to LA last year, because he heard that Lindsay was transferred there, he went down to the CSI office there, just to found there's no one called Lindsay Monroe worked there. He ended up drunk in the Oh so famous Vegas casinos and woke up with a random girl in his hotel room.  
He still occasionally try to google her up, but he gave up about 6 months ago, after one year trying so hard… he just tired, he'll let her go…

Then she suddenly comes back! He just can't believe this! This is the opportunity he's been waiting for, he can't let this one pass.  
He screw up bad, and he'll pay the price.

_He can still remember standing outside her place, tried to decide what to say to her… he couldn't stand the feeling that he won't see her anymore.  
Finally he knocked the door, waiting for a couple of seconds and suddenly the door was clicked open as if she already knew it was him.  
There she was, stand in front of him, her usually shiny eyes looks swollen and tired, there's no smile, nothing… and it's killing him…_

"_Hey Linds, can I come in? we really need to talk" _

_she just shrugged her shoulder and let him in… inside he saw she already packed most of her things.  
He took a deep breath, "I need to explain a few things, and I know this gonna sounds weird, but… I love you too" _

"_so it just took you a week and a couple of sex with another women to realize that" she thought to her self but remain completely silent. _

_A couple minutes passed, it's killing Danny, it's also killing her but she just can't help it, Lindsay was just standing there in silence for the whole time, she finds her toes too fascinating that she wont looked into his eyes and not even responded to his confession._

"_Please Lindsay, I knew I screwed up bad! I know it's all my fault, But I deserve a second chance… right? Come on Lindsay don't do this to me… to us!!"_

_Lindsay was all quiet, she didn't look at him, she just stood there… watching her toes…_

"_She intend to do this, she wants to driving me mad, she lets me in but not talking to me…nicely done" he thought, feeling the emotion start to bubbling inside his chest._

_What Danny doesn't know that Lindsay was thinking to told him about the pregnancy, but then she heard him said it…_

" _Come on Lindsay! Don't be such a bitch with me… you said you just want to be there for me! You know what! You can't!! because you don't know!! You just can't understand how I feel about all of this…" he took a deep breath to calm his voice but failing miserably, "You said you're not that kind of clingy shallow girlfriend, so PROVE IT to me now Linds!!, I LOVE YOU, I need you now… I need you to forgive me!!"  
"ANSWER ME LINSDAY!!"  
_

_He just so desperately wants to hear her voice… even if it's come out in anger, and he'll even let her slap him if she wants too…he just can't stand this silence action anymore._

_Lindsay felts her head spun, did she hear him just right… he cheated on her… and instead of plainly apologizing to her… he blame her… because she can't understand him enough… because she can't offer him the comfort that Rikki has…and he said he loves her, like it's gonna makes everything all right again.  
"he just said he loves me because of the guilt" she thought to herself.  
_

_It started to hurts so bad now… even worse then when she saw them together yesterday.  
_

_So she started slowly… "I don't have anything to say to you Messer, not anymore…"_

After that everything happen rather blurry for Danny, he can't even remember how he got out from Lindsay's place.

He just can still remember how hurt it was, and well, it still hurting him now.

**Thx for all the reviews!!  
it might be awhile until the next update... but please hanging there with me!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: never gonna be mine... **

She felt nervous, it's her first day to be back to work after 2 years, off course she had been working in Montana crime lab, but it's not the same, maybe she already behind all the technology in the NY lab. But deep inside she knows, what makes her nervous the most….

Danny feels sick, it's her first day back to work after 2 years. He silently hopes that Lindsay will or better already forgive him, it's already 2 years ago… and she decides to come back to their crime lab so it's a good sign. But still he can't help but being nervous.

Lindsay hire a nanny to take care of Isabel while she's working, she already makes sure everything all right before she left her.

"Here we go" Lindsay takes a deep breath and the elevator door slides open, revealing the whole lab that she left behind 2 years ago.

She walks towards Mac's office, Mac already called her yesterday after Stella Drop her and Isabel home, welcoming her back to New York.

"Lindsay! God it's really you"

Lindsay turns back to find Hawks, with a folder in his hands, looks tired and exhausted. "Hey! Long time no see doc…" Lindsay hugs him "sorry to left you guys before without any explanation."

"Yea... we all wondering what's going on… but we know it must be something really important. So welcome back home! We should hangout together later, you know, catching up, but before that, I really need to catch up this bad guy" Lindsay can't help but laugh, she always loves Sheldon, Gosh, she missed all of these.

One thing that Lindsay doesn't know is that Danny already watching her ever since she walks out the elevator, Gosh… she looks beautiful, he already forgets how is it to run his fingers trough her brown curls, seeing her in person now makes his feelings worse, he wants to run to her, hug her, smell her scent. God… he missed her so much.

When he saw her hugged hawks, he can feels his heart clenching

"what should I do to win her back"

(Mac's Office)

"Lindsay, you already know the drill… so I can skip all the boring part" Mac said then look at the woman in front of him  
"How is it going then Lindsay?"

"It's been hard, you know raising her without her dad, but she's a perfect little baby, I can't ask for more" Lindsay took a deep breath "So…everyone already know that I coming back today Mac?

"yea… I told pretty much everyone" he said, stressing the words everyone. They both know who everyone is….

"you should talk to him, tell him the truth… I know you've been hurt Lindsay, but so is Danny, give him a second chance if you think he deserves it, or just tell him the truth because he deserves to know."

Lindsay nodding, "I'll tell him Mac, I promise, just give me time…I'm working on it. So I'll go and help Stella and after I'll give you back all these paper works."

Mac smiles, feels content with their conversation, and as Lindsay turns to get out of Mac's Office, her eyes catch something, there he is, standing at the end of the hall, his arms crossed on his chest. His blue eyes fixed on her.

She suddenly finds it hard to breath, "what should I do… should I come up casually like what I did with Sheldon, or should I be a bitch and just ignoring him…God tell me what to do."

Danny waits for her nervously, "she looks this way, she knows I'm waiting for her…please don't run away from me…"

Lindsay walks towards Danny, she decides it's time to face him, in order to move on she needs to make peace with her ghost, in this case it's Danny.

"Hey Danny, long time no see" she smiles just like usual just like the old times, before they become a couple… before the affairs,

this hurts her like crazy but he is Isabel's father she needs to tell him.

Danny is quite taken aback by her casual greetings, he already expected her to walk past him like he's not exist. But there she is, in front of him, smiling and all.

"I'm actually good, Lindsay…mmm….how are you doing?"

"I'm good too! It's good to be back …." Danny just smiled and nodded, don't know what he should say next, they were both quite for a while, it was really awkward… then suddenly

"How about drink after work sounds Danny? It's been a while and I need to tell you something." She already regretting her offer when she hears his answer "Sure thing Montana, I'll see you after work then."

"Good…so umm… I'll go now, see you after work then."

"he called me Montana again…God why am I still in love with him?"

"can't believe she wants to talk to me!! God I'm still so in love with her…My Montana…"

**--**

**Thanks for your patience and support, reviews is always made my day!  
and Isabel is 1 year old just to make it clear **


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